Moving Your Family
Children and family moves
By The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Moving to a new community may be one of the most stress-producing experiences
a family faces. Frequent moves or even a single move can be especially
hard on a youngster, and this stress occurs even when there are siblings.
Moves interrupt friendships. To a new child at school, it may at first
seem that everyone else has a best friend or is securely involved in a
clique.
The child must get used to a different curriculum, and finds him or herself
ahead on certain subjects and behind on others, causing boredom and
anxiety.
Children in kindergarten or first grade may be particularly vulnerable to a family
move because developmentally they are just in the process of separating
from their parents and adjusting to new authority figures and peer
groups. The relocation can interfere with that normal process of separation
by
causing them to return to a more dependent relationship with their
parents.
In general, the older the child, the more difficulty he or she will have with
the move because of the increasing importance of the peer group. Pre-teens
and teenagers may repeatedly protest the move, or ask to stay in their
hometown with a friend's family. Some youngsters may not talk about
their distress, so parents should be aware of the warning signs of depression,
including changes in appetite, withdrawal, a drop in grades, irritability,
sleep disturbances or other dramatic changes in behavior.
Children who seem depressed by a move may be reacting less to the relocation
than to the stress of their parents settling in to a new area. Sometimes
one parent may be against the move, and children will sense and react
to
this parental discord.
If the child shows persistent signs of depression or distress, parents can
ask their family doctor, their pediatrician or the local medical society
to
refer them to a child and adolescent psychiatrist, who can diagnose
and
treat physical as well as emotional problems that may affect children
as a result of stress. The child and adolescent psychiatrist can also
help parents learn how to make the new experience easier on the entire
family.
To make the move easier on children, parents may take these steps:
Explain clearly to the children why the move is necessary. Familiarize the children
as much as possible with the new area with maps, photographs or the
daily newspaper. Describe advantages of the new location that the child
might
appreciate such as a lake, mountain or an amusement park.
After the move, get involved with the children in activities of the local
church or synagogue, PTA, scouts, YMCA, etc. If a son or daughter is a
senior
in high school, consider the possibility of letting him or her stay
with a trusted family until the school year is over.
The more frequently a family moves, the more important is the need for internal
stability. With the proper attention from parents and professional
help if necessary, moving can be a positive growth experience for children,
leading to increased self-confidence and interpersonal skills.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry provides this important
information as a public service to assist parents and families in their
most important roles. It is neither ethical nor responsible to use
the
internet for consultation about specific children or families. The
Facts for families sheets may be duplicated and distributed free of charge
as
long as the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry is
properly
credited and no profit is gained from their use. This page was created
and is maintained by the Psychiatry Star Team for the American Academy
of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. |
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